Daily Check-In

[mecurtin]

This is your check-in post for today. The poll will be open from midnight Universal or Zulu Time (8pm Eastern Time on Tuesday) now to midnight UT (8pm Wednesday Eastern Time).

Poll #24033 Daily check-in poll

This poll is closed.
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: Access List, participants: 67

How are you doing?

I am OK
53 (80.3%)

I am not OK, but don't need help right now
13 (19.7%)

I could use some help
0 (0.0%)

How many other humans live with you?

I am living single
29 (43.3%)

One other person
19 (28.4%)

More than one other person
19 (28.4%)

Please, talk about how things are going for you in the comments, ask for advice or help if you need it, or just discuss whatever you feel like.

Comments

[waterscroll]

Tonight my six year old son, after eating the dinner I made him, asked "what's for seconds?" And I burst into tears, which I shouldn't have done, because it's not that odd a question. But it's so much damned work cooking three meals a day every day, and for most meals he asks for seconds, which means making *another* round of sandwiches...I am so damned burnt out.

[elayna]

{{{hugs}}}

Everything is so stressful these days, don't fault yourself for crying.

[adafrog]

{{{hugs}}}

[waterscroll]

Thanks. Yes, things really are feeling hard today.

[waterscroll]

Thanks.

[dragoness_e]

*hugs*. Stress be like that.

For the longer term, may I make a few suggestions that might ease the load?

Make a few extra sandwiches, of a type that keep okay, and stash them in the fridge for those times he wants seconds. Or do what we do, and invest in some easy-microwave or oven-heatable meals for those nights when you're sick of cooking.

He's six? Teach him how to make his own breakfast, if he eats cereal or microwave oatmeal. Me, I live on microwave sausage biscuits with a slice of cheese on top (and fresh-cut garlic, but I'm weird) for breakfast. They take like 2 minutes to make and the extra stuff makes them fairly tasty. Also, teach him to make his own sandwiches. It's a life skill that will serve him well (dear God, I knew so many young men at college whose cooking skills consisted of "I can microwave ramen cup-a-soup" and couldn't do laundry, either) and at six, he'll feel accomplished that he can make lunch himself.

[waterscroll]

Thank you! I boiled a big thing of eggs, and tomorrow if he's hungry after dinner I'll give him a choice between boiled eggs or making his own peanut butter sandwich. You are right, he's going to have to learn to make his own sandwiches eventually, and I need to give up the short-order cook job before it eats me alive.

[twistedchick]

My cat who was sick is feeling better. She's up and around, eating, complaining about the food quality (a standard things -- the two cats get different food and she seems to think that what Jenny gets is better when it's just flaked and not pate). She is not sitting up on her hind legs, which she would sometimes do, and she is very careful about how she climbs, so I think she may have strained a muscle somewhere along the line. But she came to me to ask for treats, and to ask to be petted, and she didn't want either of those the other day. So we are keeping an eye on her, but I don't think she's going to get a vet visit right now.

[ex_flameandsong751]

I'm glad your cat is feeling better!

[ex_flameandsong751]

Awww, yeah, everything is *really hard right now*, please don't beat yourself up for crying. Making three meals a day every day is a HUGE amount of work.

I agree with the teaching-him-to-make-sandwiches suggestion, especially if you can get him to see it as something fun he can do. At some point down the road, when you feel he's old enough and ready, teaching him to help you prep food / cook might be valuable not just as an extra pair of hands in the kitchen but also it's a very good life skill to have, especially if it can go beyond a "basic survival skill" to him finding a love for cooking. There's also some anecdotal evidence that learning how to cook helps kids build self-confidence and when they follow recipes they get to put math skills into practice. I was 8-9 when I first started learning how to cook and I consider it to be one of the most valuable things I was ever taught, but then I love food, heh.

[fred_mouse]

I have three mostly adult kids, so what I'm about to say might come through nostalgia tinted lenses, but at six there are lots of tasks that kids can do to help with cooking which will ease some of the load on you. However, that requires you to have the energy to invest in starting that process. If you would like ideas, I am happy to comment at length.

Some things that won't take much effort, assuming you have the supplies and equipment - toast and jam, microwave potatoes, cheese on toast. Also, if you are in a position to acquire 'treat' fruit, we often had fruit as 'seconds'.

Things that take a bit more effort in one session - I have been known to roast 4 kg of potatoes at once (not wrapped, just in the roasting pan with a bit of oil and salt). These are then part of the meal, and the rest are snacks in the fridge. But we have five adults in the house.

[lexin]

Good news! I love to hear about cats doing better.

[waterscroll]

Thank you! I'll think about that.

This might or might not be the right time to be teaching the kid new skills. Last night I was thinking maybe it is, but then this morning as I'm getting ready for the day I'm thinking about the four different subjects that I have to teach him and then upload his work, since that's how his school is doing 'remote learning'. If I were doing actual homeschooling I could make cooking part of the curriculum but I don't have that flexibility right now, and one more thing might be too much. For him and also for me. (I also need to do my own actual job...there's a reason I'm melting down and crying over the thought of making a second sandwich.)

But I don't know. Now that camp is cancelled and school in the fall might also be remote it looks like we might be in this in for the long haul. So some investment in teaching the kid to cook might help me get through this, even if it makes things harder in the short term. Anyway if you have some low-investment ideas I'd be happy to hear them.

[waterscroll]

Thanks! Yeah, kids do grow up and can learn things, and over the long term that might help.

[feng_shui_house]

I had never heard of anyone finishing dinner and then asking 'whats for seconds', so I'm a little baffled here.

Is he actually still hungry, or is it just habit? Or maybe with times so uncertain he's just wanting more attention and reassurance he'll be provided for?

Perhaps if it's that he eats quickly and doesn't let his stomach have time to tell him he's full, you might consider including something that takes more time to eat, so he gets a chance to realize he's not still hungry? Raw carrots, peeled but left long, with a little tub of something he likes to dip them in, might be a good addition to the dinner.

Try to make the dinner a more relaxed, slower, experience, if you have the time? Talk to him about things he's interested in, so you can both enjoy your dinner as a social time, not just a refueling stop?

If he really is still hungry after meals, perhaps you could make up a dish/baggie, of healthy nibbles- cut fruit and cheese, celery sticks with peanut butter, etc. and store that ahead of time in the fridge?

[feng_shui_house]

My sewing machine needles arrived yesterday- coincidentally a long-time (going back to... I don't know 1980?) correspondence friend had telephoned me earlier in the day, asking if I still had face masks because she and her sister would like some.

So, back to sewing. I should be doing other things, but I had 75 masks STARTED when my last needle broke, and I had to put them aside for a couple weeks, so there's this PILE of GUILT of unfinished sitting in the sewing room. ;^)

[mommy]

Last night, I wasn't up to cooking so I ordered takeout from the Nepalese restaurant a couple miles away. It's been eight weeks of my own cooking, and I needed something else for a change. Actually picking up the food felt like an after school special's take on a drug deal, complete with someone cracking open the door to verify who I was and then shoving a bag at me before closing and locking the door. Given the circumstances, I consider this excellent customer service and will order from them again the next time I get tired of my own cooking.

My knitting project is growing and growing. It turns out that a center-out blanket still on the needles starts to look like a weird drawstring bag at around two square feet, which is perfect for holding the ball of yarn I'm working with. I wish all my projects were so self contained!

[twistedchick]

Oh, that's smart!

[fred_mouse]

The following are things I remember working for me. I hope you find at least something that will be useful to you!

The first thing I would say is don't think about it in terms of 'teaching' the kid. If you can think about it as spending quality time together, doing things that are valuable to both of you (everybody eats!) then that really helps. However, I was going through that stage as either a student or while working elsewhere with mine, so getting time together was really valuable, and I can see that you are getting a lot more togetherness than I did with mine! I used to ask for help, rather than requiring 'Kid, I could use a hand in the kitchen, would you please get me some potatoes out of the fridge', etc.

My kids loved mixing and beating things. Eggs are good for this, as is anything not on the stove to start with - salads (particularly with mayonnaise or dressing), batter, etc. You may need to start with a bigger bowl than you would use normally. Measuring 'a cup of flour' or 'a cup of milk' is something they can learn very fast. We did a *lot* of pikelets, because mine would do the mixing, and I would do the cooking. Later, they learned to do the flipping, but even now some of them aren't great. Measuring rice, or pasta, or other things are also kid safe activities. Getting out the saucepan/pot, measuring out the dry goods, and having it ready for you to put on the stove are all helpful. If they can reach to turn the stove on and you are comfortable with that, supervise the first few times, and make sure that they will only do it when you ask!

With eggs, this means you can make omelette or scrambled eggs. If you start by getting them just to beat the eggs while you do other prep work/heat up the pan, you can then give a quick whisk as you pour the mix into the pan. Cracking eggs can be taught, but do it when you have some time. Put a bowl on a plate, so that if they get egg places then it goes on the plate more than on the counter. The first few times you crack the egg with their hand on top of yours (this will take a few goes to get right), then move to your hand wrapped around theirs.

At six, they also did 'porridge' which was 1 cup water to 1/4 cup porridge oats, and then microwave and stir. I think it was cook 1 minute, stir, repeat until done. For this you need a microwave save pot that doesn't get hot (ours was a high sided plastic jug, which also had the advantage of being very light), and your microwave needs to be accessible when they are standing on the floor. This requires learning about dealing with hot things. And at least once ended up with me cleaning porridge off the floor.

We also did lots of 'board salads' - kid(s) would wash anything that needed it, I would cut the what needed it, and kid would lay them out on a breadboard - easier for them that way. We had to start with 'how to move around someone with a knife'.

Some kids like playing with water, and will do basic washing up for you, as long as you don't want it done fast. So, while you are preparing food, if there is a sink (or bowl) filled with warm soapy water than they can do the cleaning in for non-breakable things (no knives). One of mine was really good about this, the other two not so much.

And many kids can be good at watching things. I'm known for burning my cheese on toast (under the griller). But with kid watching as the cheese melted, that didn't happen! I would cut cheese (and if people wanted it, tomato or other veggies), kids would assemble and put them under the grill. And then take responsibility

If you have an electric kettle, filling and putting the kettle on is something that they can do, as is preparing mugs for the hot water (getting them out, measuring out necessary ingredients). So, they can help you make a cup/pot of tea/drink of choice. This was actually really good - because I could ask a kid to prepare tea for me, and as they got taller/strong enough, they learned pouring hot water.

The other two things I listed above - toast and jam, microwave potatoes - are both ones that my kids did quite early. The potatoes, they can get the plate and the potatoes, put them in the microwave and set it going. If you haven't cooked potatoes this way before, start with 1 minute per 100g of potato, and then adjust (different microwaves and potato varieties can cause a range of times). We had our toaster where it was easy to reach.

The last thing I want to mention -- get a good, stable, easy to climb Thing that the kid can use/keep in the kitchen. We had a two step step ladder with handle to hold on to (we still do) and it made such a difference -- kid can always see what you are doing, can reach to help.

[waterscroll]

This is great, practical and concrete. Thank you!

[fred_mouse]

You're welcome. I got a lot of good ideas from my grandmother, who had been Eldest Kid in the depression, and then gone on to teach what is now 'early childhood' (she had a class of 60 kids aged 5-7 in a one teacher school at one point!) as well as having five kids!